Bile

Words really cannot express how I'm feeling right now.

I'm seriously thinking that he must be a golem, created solely to punish me for sins committed in this and every other life.
Melodramatic, I know, but I've basically been in one long anxiety attack since fucking Monday and I tried to drive the hate away, but then I remembered that people who don't sleep for days tend to hallucinate, so I had to head back. To my parents house. Where I am staying. Because he is a fucking curse laid upon me.
Honestly, I don't know what the worst part is - what he did or how they knew. I can't believe that the first person to warn me was the poor man's Travis Bickle. Now I have to feel this sickening gratitude, which should have been aimed at friends, or even fucking family.

I quit at socialization. Years of watching, learning, trying obviously a waste. All of the effort I poured into these people and the only one to do right by me is basically a stranger. It's not fucking worth it.

I'm getting a divorce, is what I'm saying.
Thanks for listening, anonymous Mac user.